Boyhood Karaoke
and other poems by Michael Chang
poetry | 6 min read
BOYHOOD KARAOKE
Whiteboy poem: PORTLAND OREGON MAIMED DOG SHOTGUN MY NAZI FRIEND
SCARS SKINNED SQURL
Poetry: Congratulations on your acceptance!
Was reading & like Oh! This is good! My own poems. -
My Secret Service code name is Tutti frutti
• Read a lot, as much variety as you can, libraries are your friend • Figure out what you don’t like &
why • Figure out what's left (i.e., what you do like) • What are some sensibilities unique to you? •
Sift, mix, match, reason, combine • Arrive at voice. (Gold panning.)
Thank you for spending time with my work but you had nothing going on anyway let’s be honest
Replace Likes with Magic 8-Ball answers
I am novice poet created by YouTube & Khan Academy
I am like so buff from eating today
Not with those lewks or line breaks
Jeff Bezos deserves our sympathy he could be even richer think abt it
I’m only asking for niche fame I wish to be famous amongst the queers & fans of fine fragrance
Come for the poetry stay for the insults
5 Seconds of Summer - Easier (1 Hour Loop)
What if—for example—I don’t like u
BODEGA CAT & with that the world was whole again
Just brag abt urself/ur work WITHOUT the “shameless self promo” bs. We have heard the stories,
know of ur shame!
Person: [unrelated topic]
Poets: this is how I came out
The media has a very clear conservative/right-wing bias & anyone who says different is lying
A Very Famous Poet told me that I was “the first Chinese poet (she met) who writes with such
teeth”—ya I’m coming for u
I love endings that go M*N ARE UNKIND, WAR IS HERE, PRACTICE SELF-CARE, while my
own endings are like BACK OFF MY BF
When they go low you go deep
Poets: World: you have the right to remain silent
You can spell my name wrong just start talking abt me—discuss!
Ekphrastic is so hard like what are feelings
I wrote a queer historical poem u wanna talk abt CANON
Imagine not liking me when I don’t even know who you are
It’s easy to tweet abt ppl you don't care abt . . . abt
Advice for you—try harder
Someone’s drag name is Sei Shōnagon
Haha CNF writers really stretch to link their banal personal experiences to broader political trends.
High school crushes & how they got into Stuyvesant with a dance routine that would now be
considered racist
My regular writing practice is going to my bowl & waiting for the food to come
Is Jersey City the gateway to hell
How much more can we read abt hair & body & eyes? Have we not suffered enough
My poems celebratory & resplendent my voice full of nuance you can say yes
Who among us has not aspired to be a person of consequence
Must scrutinize turkey pardons for fine print pardoning DONALD J. TRUMP, of FLORIDA, for all
actual & potential crimes committed June 14, 1946 to infinity
So as to achieve Most Glorious High Engagement, this is Gideon -
Bi boys read & draw hearts in the margins
At the end of my suffering there was an eel that talk too much
I want to start a lit mag called DOUBLE DISINFORMATION
I have a joke abt submissions but I save it for my friends
Honestly just tell me when I win
独家记忆 EXCLUSIVE MEMORY
Blake . . . 제발 . . .
我的黑夜比白天多
Spare no expense, don’t make me beg
Give me your nine yards, the whole enchilada
As everyone knows
I find it easy to gorge myself
l’ll be your 王妃 . . . royal BEAST of BURDEN
You love my empty, my timeshare in Florida
Publish my miraculous words you murderous twink
Are you interesting or are you just from Texas?
~
STRANGE FRUIT
My only Tatum , Channing , j’ai toujours su que tu viendrais
I have no idea what Stevie Wonder’s Superstition sounds like, I assume like shit
I am shopping for slippers & run into Verdine White from the Hall of Fame band Earth, Wind &
Fire. He says hi I am Verdine White from Earth, Wind & Fire, have you heard of me? I say you need the
Oxford comma in there, my dude. He licks his lips like a cartoon wolf, tries to touch me, & I run away
White readers love Minority writers. If anything the danger lies in writing too white—white readers
will demand more exotic, more ethnic material
My life is just whiteboys saying my bad over & over again
My constant anxiety is a poem trying to claw its way out. Jennifer Hate Hewitt
So funny how a R*th L*lly finalist repeatedly & snidely referred to my language in my poetry & asked
me to take it out ???? In case it wasn’t clear, she was talking abt Chinese
Boy asks what the scariest book I’ve ever read is, I say Cujo although I’ve never read it, I say it to
impress him, he says if I was his professor maybe he’d like English more, I am a good literary citizen
after all
Another boy expresses an interest in me but I’m on the fence abt him, he goes to night school b/c
he is (I imagine) middle class, I wonder what he’ll say if I take him to that Italian place Rihanna likes,
the one with shitty food but is very sceney
We are at a bar, he looks expectantly at me, asks if I know what redrum is, ready to reveal the answer
like I haven’t seen the Shining a million times, I went to liberal arts school, for heaven’s sake
What do skeletons order at a Chinese restaurant? Fried lice. Sorry, I mean spare ribs. They order
spare ribs
Someone says my poems are a series of roasts & I feel seen
A lot of poets write for shock value but I am genuinely shocking
My boy is a tumbleweed. What’s your problem?
COUTURE FOR SINNERS
suppose we’re thriving despite being impaled by a chair / i retain the powerful image of you biting
down on me / my shoulders hurt, i’ve marked the softest spots / you have the saggy sad face of a
belgian malinois past its prime / in for a surprise when i say i’m taking you out for sundae / & we
show up at a korean blood sausage restaurant / mansplain me doomsday clock / so sexy & broken /
brave as kerfuffle / biscuits in a cup / fuckable fuck boy / chitter chitter in your white voice / show
me how to enunciate / i have a tenuous relationship with words / you save your cruelest put-downs
for me / or do i have that backwards / have you fixed your hooves / you call me young lord / i hear
slumlord but don’t correct you / i’ll be your agony aunt / total wax figure / smooth & plastic in the
front / my idea of abstraction is losing your number / the barn locking itself shut / white ppl are
wrong when they’re like / ooooooooooooo trump doesn’t even have a dog / like that’s why he’s defective /
[bush had dog!] / my nipples are sensitive like a fig turned inside out / meanwhile ppl are
unstimulated & starving / what ur dog name winston / come on, don’t look so anguished / my
italian roommate loves to lounge around in his underwear / the crotch is very generous, if you catch
my drift / this is where the sperm meets the __________ [tostada] / there won’t be a next time /
butter knife gone land o’lakes girl missing / it’s impolite to say cowboys & indians / they much
prefer the term ranchers / ann taylor takes me home in a lincoln town car / hanging onto my every
utterance / rich ppl choose heinz red wine vinegar / fuck here i am / lucky like a rabbit’s foot
dusted with angels
MOOSE KNUCKLES
You have your speed-dial pussies, pregnant as possum
Split second, black palms, an instant
Aren’t you trying to support me, husband me up
So I can be a trophy
I am my own trophy
& didn’t yo mama say that need & want are different things?
Nikki says most rabbis Jewish
You claim to hate it here but I don’t like it anywhere
I call you Adam, take your light-skinned
white-passing bush leagues
your gratuitous apple-bobbing
insane clown posse
your pale here’s-a-suggestion narcissism
sweet meaning screwed up
breath spooky on my earlobes
tongue swimming between my cheeks
your howling cosmology
pug nose closer than it appears
Your second & third waves
Mr. Postman’s dick hanging out his shorts
Whiteboys in puffer coats, arm in arm
Blond, cream-smooth legs ready to break some hearts
Down to keep me out like the cold
Their eyes wander, accents blur, hard to place
I could use a little fortune in my cookie
[raucous laughter, aggressively virile]
When Reagan was President
P.Y.T. meant pretty young thing
Why doesn’t Tyehimba Jess write a book
called Infinite Jess?
Now, Chelsea Clinton squinting, this glow really slaps
The je ne sais quoi, these notes on fear
The one who made it out /// the one who got away
(Same one?)
A big rabbit, actually a horse
How the hell did we learn to care for small animals?
Light me up monstrous & milky
Anything is possible here in the cosmos
The moon icing over
Your rimless dark, ever-present & empty
The trick to gardening is ample patience
& an elaborate staff